Be happy
by BlauerDrache
Summary: He loved her beyond everything else, and he would keep on doing so. But he also knew to accept defeats. And if he could not give her what she needed, at least he wanted her to be happy.


_**Everything you can recognize here belongs to Suzanne Collins. The rest came out of my weird imagination.**_

 _ **So this is my version of the backstory of Peeta's father and Katniss' mother, also starring some other known people. I hope you like it and don't want to kill me because of the possibly horrible name choices.**_

 _ **Also, I have a request! English is not my first language, and although I probably have checked this a thousand times, there might still be some grammar mistakes or other errors. If you see something especially weird or painfull to your eyes, it would be awesome if you could point that out.**_

* * *

 **Be happy**

* * *

"I will call you in alphabetical order and as you hear your name, you sit in the next empty seat. Understood?"

"Yes, Miss." all the five year old children responded together, even if they did not know what 'alphabetical order' meant.

"Perfect. Then we're starting with Abernathy, Haymitch. Come on, sit here."

A kid came out of the middle of the group and took a seat where the teacher was pointing, at the front of the classroom. The lady said another name, and seconds later a tiny girl with olive skin was sitting next to the first boy, sharing a desk in the first row.

The names came one after another and he began to feel nervous. His turn was not arriving. Why were there so many kids? When would it be his turn?

"Mellark, Noah."

There was his name, finally! He walked, relieved, to the seat the teacher was pointing at, in the third row. He sat and left his brand new backpack at his feet, and he had just started wondering who would be his desk mate when the lady said another name:

"Millner, Violet."

It was a girl of blue eyes and blond hair. She sat next to him and gave him a broad smile.

"Are you really called Noah? It's a very weird name."

Noah frowned, annoyed. Who did that girl think she was to make fun of his name? Like if hers was a common one!

"And you have a flower's name." He replied.

"Yes, and it's wonderful."

Noah did not know what to say to that. It was so annoying that the girl was right!

"But Noah isn't ugly."

"I said it's weird, not ugly."

Noah looked at her, frowning, but Violet was just smiling. He did not know if she was laughing at him or if she was being serious.

"Really?"

The girl giggled.

"Of course. I like Noah. Friends?"

Violet gave him a hand, and Noah doubted. She was quite a weird girl, but she seemed to be nice. And she smiled a lot. Someone smiling like that could not be bad.

"Friends." Noah repeated, and he shook Violet's hand.

She beamed, and Noah discovered that for some strange reason he was smiling too.

* * *

More than ten years had passed since the first day Noah spoke to Violet. And since then, weird had been the day that they had not talked at all.

Their friendship had been growing with the years, as they had too. It had matured slowly, and they went from being those kids who loved to run through the school laughing loudly to those teenagers who could spend hours talking in the canteen.

Their group was completed with other three people: the Donner twins, Maysilee and Madeleine, two girls so equal that they were almost impossible to differentiate; and Walter Undersee, a tall and smart boy who had been their class head boy since Noah could remember. Oh, and Walter was also his best friend. And the only one who really knew he was completely in love with Violet Millner.

That day, the five of them were having lunch in their usual table in the school as always. They were laughing hard thanks to Maysilee and one of her perfect imitations of a TV character from the Capitol, when Noah's attention was drawn to how beautiful Violet looked when she was laughing.

Her eyes narrowed, her smile seemed to brighten the entire world, and her laugh was like heavenly music. Even when Violet covered her mouth with a hand to try to stop the laughs that were lasting too much, Noah kept unconsciously staring at her…

"Are you feeling ok, Noah?"

Madeleine's question brought him quickly back to reality. His friend was looking at him, amused, like if she knew something he did not. And she probably did know it, because even if he was trying to be as subtle as possible, he was unable to do so.

Damn it, the entire damn world knew for sure how much he liked Violet.

The entire world except for Violet, of course.

"Yeah, sure." He answered a few seconds later than normal "It was just that last bite, it didn't feel that good."

"Yeah, now they call _that_ digestive problems." Replied Maysilee harshly, and she and Madeleine burst into laughter again.

Walter smiled shyly at him, apologizing silently for his girlfriend's behavior, and kissed Maysilee softly after whispering something in her ear.

Because obviously, Walter had been able to tell Maysilee he liked her six months ago, but he had been simply incapable of telling Violet he was so much into her.

"When you're done with laughing at Noah's problems with food," Violet stepped in with a bored voice, obviously having not noticed what was going on at all "it would be nice if any of you remembered that I asked ages ago about that math problem of…"

But Violet interrupted herself, because suddenly a choir of scared screams started at one side of the dining room.

Everyone turned around to see what had happened and who was making those noises, and soon Noah found out that it was quite an absurd situation: a bird had entered the room through an open window and gone to rest on the table of a group of twelve year old girls, daughters of merchants, who had started to scream immediately at the sight of that unwanted visitor next to them. The rest of people's reactions to the bird's apparition were picturesque: some moved as far away as possible while yelling in fear, others joked in a low voice, others protected their heads with the first they could find, some groups started laughing and a few others did not even care at all.

"Please, it's only a bird." Violet complained, seeing that the girls' screams were not stopping.

"It's a mockinjay, to be precise." Walter pointed out, narrowing his eyes to observe it properly.

"Poor little thing, scaring it like that…" Madeleine said.

"But look, someone's already coming to the rescue." Maysilee added.

'Rescue' was probably not the best fitting word, Noah thought. 'Kidnapping' would be more correct, because a tall and dark guy had caught the bird while it was flying, disoriented, above the group of girls; instead of releasing him out of the window he brought it to his table, where two other guys of the Seam were loudly laughing.

"That's Hawthorne, isn't he?" Noah asked, pointing at the bird kidnapper. The girls nodded simultaneously, and he added "And why isn't he releasing it?"

"Oh, because he's with Everdeen." Madeleine said, like if that explained everything.

"And how is that related to the mockinjay?" Walter asked.

"Shut up and you'll know." Maysilee answered with expectation, and discretely pointed with her head to the three guys' table.

Hawthorne, Everdeen and the other guy had stopped laughing, although Kyle Hawthorne still had the bird in his hands. And then, Everdeen started singing.

 _"Are you, are you_

 _Coming to the tree_

 _They strung up a man_

 _They say who murdered three_

 _Strange things did happen here_

 _No stranger would it be_

 _If we met at midnight_

 _In the hanging tree"_

The canteen had gone completely silent, except for the voice of Gary Everdeen singing that song. Everyone looked like hypnotized, listening, and Hawthorne released the mockinjay. But the bird did not fly away, and instead it started whistling the melody almost immediately.

 _"Are you, are you_

 _Coming to the tree_

 _Where dead man called out_

 _For his love to flee_

 _Strange things did happen here_

 _No stranger would it be_

 _If we met at midnight_

 _In the hanging tree"_

 _"Are you, are you_

 _Coming to the tree_

 _Where I told you to run_

 _So we'd both be free_

 _Strange things did happen here_

 _No stranger would it be_

 _If we met at midnight_

 _In the hanging tree"_

Nothing had been heard in the canteen besides the voice of Everdeen singing in a long time; even the mockinjay had shut up, paying attention to the song. It was something impressive. Noah had never seen a quiet mockinjay.

 _"Are you, are you_

 _Coming to the tree_

 _Wear a necklace of rope_

 _Side by side with me_

 _Strange things did happen here_

 _No stranger would it be_

 _If we met at midnight_

 _In the hanging tree"_

The silence following the end of the song was almost magical. Nothing neither no one moved in the entire room, like if it all was a dream. Until the mockinjay seemed to realize that the music had stopped, and it started whistling the melody by itself, like if it was asking for more.

But there was no music anymore, and slowly the students began to come back to their own selves. The mockingjay kept whistling softly, but it was not the same than listening to Gary Everdeen.

And Noah thought it was probably the best for the song to end. Because even with Everdeen's incredible voice, the song had a strangely spooky tone, and a hidden message that was good not to think too much about. Luckily, the younger kids had long gone back to their lectures, so they were not there to ask questions.

At their table, Violet sighed and turned to the rest of the group, leaving the mockingjay and the three guys from the Seam at her back.

"He's an amazing singer." The girl whispered, staring at her empty lunch tray.

"And he's handsome and looks like a nice guy too." Madeleine added "Too bad he's from the Seam."

"Yeah, I know…" Violet replied with a trace of sadness in her voice that shacked Noah's heart twice.

The first one was because he could not stand seeing Violet sad. The second one was because it was a guy causing that. And the guy was not him.

And even if he thought that Violet would never have to suffer for a guy, because she was so wonderful that anyone would fall for her with a simple smile, he could understand her feelings. If the mentioned guy was from the Seam, it was sure her parents would never approve any kind of relationship. To be honest, neither her parents nor no one's.

The bell marking the end of their lunch time rang then, and everyone rushed to pick up their things. Noah quickly saw how Hawthorne brought the bird out of the room and closed the window behind him.

"You better hurry, Mellark." a voice near his ear shocked him.

Noah turned fast to look at his interlocutor, but for a moment he did not know which of the Donner sisters she was. He scanned the room to find the other one, grabbing Walter's hand, and he knew who was staring at him with a deadly serious face.

"What do you mean, Madeleine?"

She flicked her tongue, slightly annoyed he had recognized her so easily, and then spoke.

"You know well what I mean, Noah. If you don't do anything with Violet soon, someone else will. And I have really nothing against Everdeen, but… He's not you."

* * *

After Madeleine's words, Noah tried. And he tried hard.

During the next weeks he told Violet countless times how beautiful she looked. When he talked to her, he tried to imply how much he liked her; though he was not very good at that, because Violet never realized a thing. And even if he had not had yet the courage to properly ask for a date, he had grabbed her hand three times going back home, with the lame excuse of having cold hands.

It was one of those afternoons, going back home from school and after saying goodbye to the twins and Walter at a crossing, when he finally decided to ask her out. While they were doing small talk, a part of his mind was struggling to bring up the subject to the conversation.

"Noah, can I ask you something?"

"You're already doing it." He replied, and Violet laughed.

"But it's something a bit special."

"Ask whatever you want." He said. How could ever he refuse any of her demands?

They walked a few more steps in silence, until Violet decided to talk.

"So… If a girl that you don't know came up to you and suddenly started to talk to you, what should she say so you won't think she's crazy?"

Violet had blushed intensely, showing how nervous she was, and that only made him feel worse.

Violet had only not realized he was in love with her, but she was asking him for help to talk with another guy. And that hurt. It really did hurt.

He did not know where the strength to smile softly and ask her the next question came from.

"Is this somehow related to Everdeen?"

Violet gave him back a shy smile and nodded. Noah sighed and put an arm around her waist, to which she leaned into his shoulder. He had her so close and so far away at the same time…

It was totally not fair.

But he was not able to hurt her. Even if that could benefit himself.

"You could say anything and you would conquer him, believe me. He's not gonna think you're crazy."

"But…" Violet had already started to look for problems "Gary is a year older. He's gonna think I'm a baby. And plus, he's from the Seam… I'm sure he'll think I'm just a dumb little girl whose only interest is pretty dresses."

"And isn't that true?"

"Noah!" She protested, making him laugh.

"It was a joke, Violet. And I can assure you if by any chance he ever thought that, he's gonna change his mind after speaking thirty seconds with you."

"But I have no idea what I should start saying…"

"Talk about music. He's a great singer, right? You can start there."

Violet stopped abruptly, forcing him to interrupt his journey. And then, she lifted her head from his shoulder and stared at him.

And she smiled.

* * *

What was he supposed to do when he was seeing Violet talking with Gary Everdeen in the school hallways? What should he do when he was seeing them laughing for some silly little thing in a corner? What could he do when his heart was threatening to break through his chest when he was seeing her putting a string of hair behind her ear with that smile?

And how should he react when after school, Violet was grabbing his arm with an absent smile while she was telling him how the relationship with Everdeen was going?

"Today he told me he passed a History exam. And he didn't study more than half an hour!"

Noah forced himself to smile.

"So he's also smart."

"Yes…" Violet sighed "He's also smart. And he's so funny… I would tell you the joke he said earlier, but I wouldn't do it half as well."

Noah pressed the hand she had on his arm. Walking through the streets of the District, both with their orange backpacks, blond hair, blue eyes and almost the same height, anyone would had said they were siblings. And if Noah did not love her so much, he would consider Violet her sister too. If he only could change his feelings so it could stop hurting that much…

"You like him a lot, don't you?"

"You can't even imagine." Violet whispered.

But Noah could.

* * *

He was standing in the middle of the square, surrounded by the rest of the sixteen year old guys of the District. Walter, with a new shirt, stood beside him looking apparently calm, but Noah could see how his hands were closed in fists so tight that his knuckles were turning white. The woman from the Capitol on the stage was saluting the District twelve and heading to the glass balls.

It was not a normal Reaping day. It was a Quarter Quell Reaping. And that occasion, it meant that two names would come out of each glass ball. Two boys and two girls. Four teenagers that would go directly to meet their deaths, because the mentor of the District, winner of the seventh Hunger Games and so stoned he barely was realizing he was in the stage of the square, was not exactly a great help.

Noah knew that despite that, he should not be more nervous than usual. Both he and his friends had only the five slips that corresponded to their age, which were nothing compared to their classmates from the Seam. It was cruel, but he was happy he was not one of them. Even with that, he had shivers every time he remembered he had heard that a girl in his class had her name forty times in the reaping ball.

A name broke the silence of the square. Noah breathed relieved for a second, because he did not recognize it. Moments later, a girl from the Seam came out of the fourteen year old section, going up to the stage with her eyes full of tears. She could barely reply to the questions from the Capitol woman, who seeing the poor enthusiasm of her first tribute, rushed to find out the name of the other _lucky_ girl.

"Maysilee Donner."

No.

It could not be.

Fuck. Not Maysilee. She had so few slips in that ball… It was almost impossible for her to be elected. But she had been.

Maysilee walked with admirable decision to the stage, and there were a few whispers in the air as people discussed how someone from the merchant people could have been elected. Some sobs were heard, and even if Noah could not have seen them, he would have known it was Madeleine and Violet. And next to him, Walter was looking so pale, and his look was so glassy and lost, that he seemed he would never move again.

Noah wanted to scream to the world that it was not fair. That they could not take Maysilee away. She was not only the strongest of the girls: Violet was a dreamer, and Madeleine had always taken refuge behind her sister. Maysilee was stronger than the two boys two. Walter would have never asked her out if she had not clearly said she liked him, and Noah…

He was a coward too afraid to do what he really wanted to. Maysilee was the leader. She was who had kept them together in that world.

And without her, everything would fall apart.

The show had continued, but he could not even feel happy that his name had not been elected. Two guys from the Seam had been chosen, and he recognized both. One was Haymitch Abernathy, who was in his same class. The other was one of Gary Everdeen best friends.

Who cared? None of them would come back.

And trying to hold back his tears, he had to remind himself that it included Maysilee.

* * *

To reach Violet's home, he only had to cross two streets and walk a block. Despite the short way, this time it felt like it lasted an eternity. It seemed like his legs were never advancing; the wind was pushing him back home, like if it did not want him to reach his destination.

After just a couple minutes that felt like hours, he reached the door and rang the bell, breathing heavily to recover some air. A few seconds later, someone opened.

It was Mrs. Millner, who unlike all the other times he had visited the house, was not smiling. She only looked at him with a sad and bleak gaze.

"Hello, Noah." The woman greeted.

"Is Violet at home?" He asked still breathing difficultly.

"In her room. Come inside."

He had spent so many years at their place throughout the years that he could go around it with closed eyes. He walked through the narrow hallway and knocked softly at the last door, but he did not receive an answer. However, he went in.

The weak sunset light was coming in through the half closed window, leaving the room in gloom. Noah closed the door behind him after finding Violet snuggling in the bed, with her face against the pillow to suffocate her sobs. He sat down next to her and hugged her with strength before she even realized it was him who had entered. When Violet recognized him, she leaned into him and grabbed him even stronger.

They spend a few minutes without moving. The only thing breaking the silence was Violet's cries.

"She's gone." Violet finally said in his ear.

"Yes." He could not think of anything else to say.

She had left half an hour ago.

Half an hour since those birds had skewed Maysilee's neck.

Half an hour sinche she had died.

"What are we gonna do now?" Violet asked in a hurt whisper.

What were they going to do? He did not know. They had abandoned all hopes of seeing her again once she left the District, having to face other forty seven tributes. A small light appeared when they saw her fighting in the arena, when she allied with Abernathy, and when they saw there were only five tributes left they thought it was almost done…

But it was not.

The unavoidable had won.

"We'll try to survive. To keep going on."

"How, Noah? How?"

They stared at each other. Violet had red eyes full of tears, huge eye bags and her hair was a complete mess. He could feel her closer than ever.

Noah knew it. He loved her.

And he would do whatever to make her happy.

And for once, he could not resist the impulse of kissing her.

He kissed her lips tasting like salt. She did not move away. And when he did, seconds later, she did not complain. She opened her eyes slowly and looked at him.

"Together." Noah whispered.

That time, it was Violet who erased the distance.

* * *

Months passed and Noah's prediction became true: without Maysilee, everything around him fell apart.

He did not care that Haymitch Abernathy had returned. Without Maysilee, everyone around him seemed to have lost their reasons to keep going.

Madeleine barely got out of her bed, even less of her house. Noah used to visit her with Violet at least once a week, but those were some horrible visits. Madeleine hardly spoke a few words, and she was not showing interest for anything at all.

Walter also looked like he had become a ghost. Deep eye bags were now permanently in his face, and he interacted as little as he could with the rest of the world. He was still his best friend, but Noah felt like if he had been changed by a mute stranger. Despite that, Walter was the one who visited more frequently the remaining Donner twin; the two teenagers had lost the most important person in their lives, and they seemed to understand and complement each other in their misfortune.

He, on his side, should be extremely happy, because even if Maysilee's absence was like if a piece of him had been ripped off, he was finally dating Violet. He would have liked to be able to fulfill the promise he had made her: that they would keep going forward together. But that was not happening.

Violet also seemed to have lost her light. When she went home she spent long hours looking at the songbird that had belonged to Maysilee, a gift from Maysilee's parents after her death. Violet was still by his side, and she frequently looked for his kisses and hugs, but it was like if she was absent.

However, Noah accepted it. Because she was Violet, and he would be by her side to support her, hug her and kiss her every time she needed it. Like it always had been. Even if he received so little in exchange.

Sometimes he caught Gary Everdeen looking at them, and Kyle Hawthorne frowning when he did so. He was partly identifying with them, because the guys had also lost a friend murdered in the Games. Violet and Gary had not spoken again since the beginning of the Quarter Quell, and that helped Noah. While Everdeen and Hawthorne closed themselves to the rest of the world, he had been next to Violet all the time. When they started dating, he had no competition. Months later, when Everdeen started to be in touch with the world again, it was too late for him, and Noah felt like he was silently accusing him of taking advantage of that…

But the truth was he did not care that much anymore. He had taken his opportunity, and now he was the one standing next to Violet and making her happy.

Or trying, at least.

* * *

Months turned into years in the blink of an eye. Noah, Violet and Walter graduated from school and were lucky enough to not be elected in the Reapings of the following years. Madeleine did not finish school, but no one cared about it. Her situation did not improve so much with time, but Walter spent every time more hours with her. It was not a surprise when they got together.

Noah started working in the bakery with his father. His relationship with Violet continued the same; she improved with time, but she never went back to be that happy, dreamer girl he had known as a boy. She kept looking for him and his kisses, but he felt her distant. Very distant.

Noah preferred to ignore that. He preferred not to think about how he felt her much closer when they were teenagers and just friends, when they told each other everything and had no secrets. He preferred to pretend not realizing that since Violet became his girlfriend, even though she was physically closer than ever, emotionally she was unreachable. He preferred to ignore all the signals yelling at him that it was wrong, because every day he convinced himself that someday, it would all change. And then, from that day on, they would be really happy despite living in a truly horrible world.

Actually, there was a time when all suddenly improved.

They were twenty years old. It was a warm summer. The wedding of the Hawthorne had been just a couple weeks ago, and it had been big news in the Seam because everyone said the party had been incredible.

Then Violet started smiling again.

She started smiling again; she started humming while she worked on something else again. Slowly, she became again the girl Noah had always known. He fell in love with her even more. He thought that the day he had been dreaming for so long had finally arrived; the thought Violet could be happy again, and with him by her side.

After many months like that, Noah made a decision. He had to ask her to marry him. The sooner the better. He wanted to have his own house, to live with his wife and to be able to be happy. But he was not counting with the fact that Violet would show up at the bakery with a serious face that same day, just when it was closing time.

"Noah, I want to talk with you."

"Give me just a minute."

He said goodbye to the last client, he made sure the oven was turned off, he did the rest of routine checks, and he closed windows and doors before grabbing Violet's hands, kissing her briefly and paying her all his attention.

"Done. What did you want?"

Violet looked at him for a long time without smiling, with an intensity that made him nervous. Finally, she looked away and whispered.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" He asked, confused.

When Violet looked back at him, he was surprised to see her eyes wet. He did not understand anything.

"Noah… You have always been my best friend. You have been by my side whatever happened. And you're so incredibly important to me, but… I'm sorry. It's not love."

It took him some long seconds to understand what Violet meant with that. But when the words got through his brain, he found out the truth quickly. That truth he had deeply always known, but that he had strived to ignore for so long.

"It was never love, right?"

"It never was." She confirmed in a heartbreaking whisper.

He knew. He had always known. And he had always preferred to believe the opposite.

"Why are you telling me now?"

He had not been able to let Violet's hands go yet. He was still hanging on them, like if they were the only real thing of all that talk. He felt them trembling between theirs, but without going away. Violet's voice also trembled when she answered.

"At the beginning, I needed you. Whatever the way, just with me. Later, I told myself I would fall in love with you over time. That it would be unavoidable. But… it did not happen. My feelings did not change. And I hated myself, because I did not want to disappoint you. I did not want to do this to you. And now…" Violet's voice broke, and a sob escaped from her lips "Now, this thing happened…"

Violet sobbed again and she was not able to finish the sentence. But it was not necessary, because Noah already knew.

"Everdeen." Noah said sharply.

Violet nodded, tears running freely down her cheeks.

He knew it. Everdeen had won. Actually, he had never had a real chance of winning. But he had always liked to dream he had.

"We started talking again some months ago. " Violet explained between tears "And I'm sorry, I never wanted something like this to happen… But I love him."

Silence fell between them like a wall while they looked at each other's eyes. After some seconds that felt like an eternity, Noah freed his hands, he put them around Violet's face and he carefully kissed her on the forehead.

"Go away from here, Violet. Go away and be happy."

He released her and moved away abruptly. They did not share any more words, and then Violet left the bakery running. She did not look back.

Noah did not even move close to the door to watch her go away down street. It hurt too much.

But he loved her, and he would keep on doing so. He wanted her to be happy more than anything else.

And if he could not give her that, then he could only let her go away.

* * *

 _ **Liked it, loved it, hated it? Whatever your opinion is, feel free to say it in a review!**_

 _ **Also, this is actually a translation of a story I wrote some years ago. If by any chance you're interested in the original (Spanish) version, you can find it in my profile.**_


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